What is success?

Today I spent what seemed an inordinate amount of time to set up students for learning. When everyone was settled in their best (Covid-safe) learning spot, I introduced my mapping lesson. I followed the tried and true gradual release of responsibility, and had just released them to the independent phase of doing a task on their own. There was a low buzz of discussion as I made my way around the room to check on understanding. One student approached me hesitantly. Her eyes were downcast. She asked me, “Mme – can I ask you a question?”

I worried briefly. Had I used a tone that discouraged questions? Had I released them too soon to work on their own? I replied gently and reassuringly – “Yes, what would you like to ask me?”

“Mme – is it true that if you don’t go to college, you will have to flip burgers?”

There it was. The question. The teachable moment. What would I do with this opportunity?

You don’t plan these moments. They are not scripted. These are the moments – if you take them – that let you dive deep into the most philosophical questions. I don’t want to just answer a question like this, I want to support my students to think deeply and develop their own understandings about complex concepts.

So – in the moment- what concepts did I identify as most significant and meaningful to explore?

*I was troubled by the value attached (or lack of value) to the job of “flipping burgers”

*I was troubled by the idea that college was seen as necessary to avoid a particular job vs to attain a specific goal.

Even more deeply troubling was the idea that a job would be an indication of success or achievement (in and of itself).

Yes ……my mind went to all these places rather quickly. You see, I’ve lived it. I had many jobs on my way to becoming a teacher. I’ve been a life partner of someone who made career decisions based on one paradigm of success only to discover the model was all wrong. I was that parent who told their young child “I don’t care what you do to earn money as long as you are a good person and you are happy.” I think I failed to deliver the message convincingly. If the unexamined life is not worth living, mine has great value because I have examined it and reflected on it at length. If I could help, in some way, to begin to present a counter-narrative to the view that success is a college (or university) education with a big paycheque – then I would feel I had given a gift to my young students. How on earth could it be possible that a six year old had encountered this dichotomy so soon in her life?

So I set out by interrupting the work on mapping. I asked them to put down their pencils so we could all think about the question put forth by their peer. I stated very strongly that the question offered a chance to learn something even more important than mapping. I want all my students to know that some lessons about life are vital, and deserve attention, time and thought.

The student repeated the question — “Is it true that if you don’t go to college you have to flip burgers?”

Employing the Socratic method to help them remember that diversity is a gift, I asked:

Do we all like the same things? Are we all good at the same things/do we all have the same talents and gifts? This is not the first time for our community to consider these ideas.

Next, I asked them to imagine a person who worked in a restaurant. Imagine that this person loves to cook. This person has worked hard to learn to make the best burgers, and they are proud of their burgers. People come from all around to eat at the restaurant, and they love to eat those burgers. It makes them feel good when they eat those burgers. The hamburger cook is happy doing what they love, and they always do their best. Now, ask yourself this (I instructed my students) – do you think that the hamburger cook is a successful person? Consensus was that yes, this would be success.

Still, I had an additional concern. From experience as a parent, I know how much pressure there is for a young person to choose a career path. I don’t think this pressure is healthy, or necessary. We all know that in today’s world our students (or our children/ or us) may have many careers in a lifetime. Why not introduce this idea now? I asked them:

What if the hamburger cook stopped liking his job? What if they thought they wanted to try something new? Do they have to do one job their whole life? I could see them shaking their heads in response. I shared my own experience –
“Before I was a teacher I had many jobs. I used to make pizzas, and I worked hard at it and I was proud of making pizzas. But then, I didn’t enjoy it any more. So I went back to school and worked very hard to become a teacher. Now I love being a teacher, and I always do my best. Do you think that is being successful?”

After laying the groundwork in their thinking, I thought I was ready to introduce the part of the original question that troubled me the most. I wanted them to consider if it made sense to them that one of these had greater value. Is the person who makes hamburgers and does their best, and is happy with their work – is that person less successful than me (a teacher who works hard and is happy with their work)? When cast in that light – success being a measure of happiness found in the activity of the work combined with the satisfaction of working hard and doing your best – were not both individuals equally successful?

So I accept that my introduction of a counter narrative on success will not be the end of their thinking on this subject. I hope it is just the beginning. More than anything, I hope that all my students will define success for themselves, and achieve it. I hope that our two class commitments will remain a strong influence in their lives:

Je suis gentil(le).

Je fais de mon mieux.

my thoughts on the CWHL end

*This is a opinion piece about something other than Kindergarten, but it speaks about equity in sport, and I care deeply about a world that is just.*

To the players in the CWHL (and the managers, the coaches, trainers):

I am sorry.  Canadians have failed you.  You poured your heart into hockey to make professional women’s hockey a reality.  We failed to support you.  You sacrificed personally (including job opportunities) so that you could forge a future for other girls who dream of playing in the big leagues. The end of the CWHL will not be the end of women’s hockey in Canada.  You are strong, you are fast, you are hard-working and you will continue to play hockey in Canada.  I believe that out of the ashes that were the CWHL, a new structure will emerge and an exciting next chapter will be written.  I will be there to watch you play.

Yours Sincerely, A Hockey Mom who thanks you

To my fellow Canadians:

It is shocking when we hear that the CWHL was not a financially sustainable model when it paid world-class athletes a mere pittance.  In fact, it was even a non-profit model that couldn’t break even.  There is something very, very wrong about this.  How is it even possible that in 2019, women are not recognized as equal athletes to their male counterparts?  If they were recognized as equals in the world of hockey then Sami Jo Small and Marie-Philip Poulin would be driving around in new Mercedes and Porsches.  Why is it that the NHL generates such incredible revenue and the CWHL did not?  Maybe this seems like a simple question with obvious answers – and it is.  The insidious thing is the value statement that underpins the answers.

When my daughter first fell in love with hockey and I learned about the CWHL I was so thrilled to take her to a Toronto Furies game.  I went online to purchase tickets for Christmas and got reverse sticker-shock.  I had been to a few Maple Leafs games and cheap tickets were close to $100.  Tickets for the Toronto Furies games were about $15.00.  I told her she could invite as many of her team-mates as we could fit in the van!  When we were at the game, I went to buy her a jersey.  I picked Christine Kessler’s jersey because she had attended Harvard (what an amazing role model!) and she was a goalie like my daughter.  My daughter (peewee age) asked me how much I had paid and was shocked that it was about the same price as a Carey Price jersey.  I was dumbfounded.  I reasoned that if I didn’t value women’s hockey as greatly as NHL hockey then where would her opportunities be to play professional hockey?  All the girls on the road trip that day got a lesson in feminism and equal opportunity.  However, while I was busy being the hockey mom, and driving her to practices and games all over southwestern Ontario I did not have the chance to take her to many CWHL games.  And now, the CWHL is gone.  Gone because at the end of the day, Canadians choose to spend $100 plus to see an NHL game instead of $15 or $20 to see a CWHL game.  In Ontario, the OHL teams regularly fill their venues with between 3000 – 9000 in attendance, while a recent PWHL game recorded attendance of 84.  When Tim Horton’s has a big hockey card promotion it is NHL players on the trading cards, not CWHL players.  We need to really think about whether we value women’s hockey.  We need to vote with our wallets and show women in hockey more than lip service and rhetoric.  I know that there are endless inequities that we need to right in this world of ours.  It really astounds me that equality in sport continues to be a fight that needs our energy and attention.  But clearly it does.

So when Canadian women’s hockey emerges in some new form – whether it is a merger with the NWHL or an organization formed in alliance with NHL support – get behind it.  Buy season’s tickets, buy player’s jerseys, send e-mails to companies or use social media to demand corporate sponsorships of women’s hockey.  Really.  How many hockey parents out there are driving their girls to the rink and going through Tim Horton’s drive-thru? Just saying.

My One Word – Connections

My one word for 2018 is connections.  Choosing a single word to represent your focus for a year is challenging.  It took a little while for the whirl of words to settle so I could distill one that was strong enough and vast enough to hold a year of aspirations.

Connections.  This word represents the relationships that I have with my children/students.  (Does anyone else struggle to use the word students when they really feel like family?)  It represents the relationships that I have with their families.  Connections represents the relationships I have with other educators.  You may be wondering why I did not simply choose the word relationships.

Connections is also a very intrapersonal word because it can represent the connections that I make in my own brain, in my own thinking.  This is where my personal learning happens.  I take all of the external experiences that are part of my day-to-day life and I internalize them and reflect.  Sometimes this leads to a new understanding and sometimes it leads to cognitive dissonance.  When I can’t seem to sort through it on my own, this brings me back to my colleagues.  Again, connections…

I engage in dialogue together with my colleagues. Dialogue is all about connections.  I am so grateful to have wonderful colleagues surrounding me in my work environment and in recent years, via social media.

Connections also speaks to my relationship with nature.  The famous quote comes to mind –   John Donne’s Devotions (1624): “No man is an Island, entire of it self; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main.”  I would change the word man to human.  I am intimately aware of the impact of my connection to nature on my personal well-being.  When I grow disconnected from the natural world I feel unwell.  I know that I must make it a priority to spend time outside.  It is an essential part of my self-care.  This is also something that I want to model and nurture for children (my biological ones and my borrowed ones).

Connections will give me the opportunity to grow not only as an educator, but as a human-being.  New connections are like new beginnings, new paths to explore.  What an exciting year this will be!

 

 

 

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